3 Months In The Desert And A 6 Month Dry Spell

It's been about 3 Months since I had sex, 6 months since I had sex worth talking about. I've always enjoyed sex, hell who doesn't?  I like it so much to a fault, I crave it. Too feel another person ravish me and fill me up is nothing short of an addiction. And when I don't have it I feel  myself going mad.

You'd think if it were that serious, I'd just go get laid and that's the end of it. I used to be able to do that.  When I was needing a fix I'd just go to my Rolodex of dick dealers and get fixed almost instantly. But since my last relationship I've been reluctant  to share my body with anyone. I don't know if its the fact  that I don't want to -- no I know I want to --- I think I just don't like my pool of applicants. They're nice enough, but when it comes to bringing them into the bed room I don't think they'll be able to hold their own.

I don't see sex as just sex. It's an intimate dance between two bodies,two souls meeting it's a beautiful and deadly game. Sex is an experience including your mind and body. You're letting someone see you bare all and go deep into places you don't or rather shouldn't let anyone. But we do its a fact of life that's why we've become so numb to sex, it's a dance we do with everyone.

When I was younger I was searching for love, and when I found it , it was everything I was searching for. Now that's it's gone I'm back searching for it again . Someone how can get me that high in the sky that I never come down. Unlike when I was younger I k ow what I'm looking for and before you think it's love. It's not that necessarily.  I know who I want that from. Right now I'm just looking for a dance partner that can keep up with me.

I'm looking for life and adventure in the form of a soul mate. Someone that can push me of the pier and deep down into the ocean and ride the waves with me. But for now just to get rid of this itch a nice fuck and a fat blunt would be perfect. Let's be honest. I've been "sexual" for as long as I can remember.

When I was in the 6th grade I would go into chat rooms and would role play with perverts online pretending to be a 16 year old girl living in Florida. That was the first time I ever played with myself , I was introduced to unconventional sex at a young age. By the time I was in 8th grade I was skipping school and already given my first blow job.

  This seemed normal to me. The very next year I lost my virginity to a guy I only knew for 3 months, that was my very failed attempt of following the 3 month dating rule.  No romance, no passion, I didn't eve  k ow his last name. He wasn't my boyfriend he was just a friend, and I use that term loosely. All I thought was, I've done everything else, I might as well. 

I guess that's why it feels so weird to me know. The fact that they're  guys willing to have sex with me and no matter how horny I get, I never give in. I'd rather pleasure myself than to let some random guy come inside me and do a half ass job. I  really just sick of bad sex. I've had the fireworks, the passion, the toe curling. The sex that's so good you start giggling because you're excited  and your happy to be with someone.  I don't want want to go back to meaningless sex with  guy who won't call  me the next day. Once you've had the taste of the good stuff you don't go back to the  mediocre.

No, I refuse to give myself to a guy and not even be satisfied after on top of having dull sex. I can wait, it's definitely worth the wait . I just wonder how long it's going to take....